He claims that he feels "trapped" in the marriage and won't explain why.He starts to spend more time at the gym and works on changing his appearance.He spends excessive time texting people at irregular hours.You find pop-ups of gay pornography on the computer while he claims they are not his.
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He erases the computer history on a regular basis.He tells you that he wants you to use sex toys on him because he needs his prostate stimulated or because he likes kinky sex.You find sexual enhancers such as Viagra (sildenafil citrate) or Cialis (Tadalafil) hidden in his private hiding places, but you know he hasn't made any attempt to have sex with you.He claims he is "depressed" and will blame his depression or medication for depression for his lack of sexual desire for you.His sexual performance is more mechanical than passionate with a lack of satisfying foreplay.He is turned-off by normal sexual activity and accuses you of being oversexed, aggressive, or a nymphomaniac when you have normal sexual needs.He tries to convince you that all relationships have a decline in sex even when you've only been together for a few years.
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If the husband is honest with both you and with himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay? Signs You Are Gay), that is when you can truly know that he is gay. The clearest way to know if your husband is gay is if he tells you. If a husband is gay, it can devastate not only the relationship but the straight wife as well. Sometimes a woman may have been in a heterosexual relationship for years and yet feel something is somehow "off " and she may find herself asking, "Is my husband gay?" Many women find this question unthinkable but according to Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert in women married to gay men, it is estimated that 4 million women have been, or are, married to gay men.